I miss Meltdown!

I miss y'all! I'm so glad I've seen some of you at classes this week, but I miss our usual group workouts! How's everyone doing on journaling, eating, etc. I'll be honest and say I have eaten small tastes of cravings I had the last six weeks but I've been able to snap myself back into the journal, the planning and eating better for a lifetime. I think we are all on the same page that this wasn't just a six week plan, but a lifetime program we've commited too! I'm not sure I realized that when I started! But I know it now and I'm glad I'm in it with all of you! Seeya Saturday for our workout and well deserved celebration of all our successes along with celebrating Sweat360's anniversary!
Lori

Here we go a New Challenge

I am so excited for everyone! We have made it!!! Tonight is so exciting for me, I feel like a little girl bring a friend to show and tell....

I know that I have started to build a new way of life. I may be a grandma but I am going to be healthy grandma that will pass on the healthy way of life to my family. I have had such great encouragement from all of you, family and friends. Now I want to be an encourager. Sorry for the spelling errors.

Well there is now 44 minutes to the last meltdown. We all have the tools to start making great decisions and we know we can setup our on workstations at home if we need to. I know that I look so forward to the continuation of this journey!

I'll see you soon, Tracy

Wrapping Up the Meltdown

The past six weeks have been filled with exercise, nutrition, excitement and change!  When I began this program, my focus was on continued weight loss and improving my overall sense of wellness.  When I turned 30, my metabolism took a turn for the worse, causing my waist line to grow like our country’s debt.  I was responsible for this – not my body – because I was choosing to eat without regard for what was healthy, drinking too often, and enjoying a sedentary lifestyle.  I knew that I needed to change, and so it was with this sense of purpose that I began the Meltdown Challenge.  Even after training for three months with Robert, this challenge represented a fantastic opportunity to continue the work we had started, and to push myself beyond what I knew to be a true boundary of ability.
 
What I am capable of doing is so much more than I ever thought!  In the end, I’ve realized that every single action (or inaction) that affects my life is my decision.  Whether I stay in a work-out is my decision.  Whether I push myself by working out with a heavier weight is my decision.  Whether I sit at my desk or go for a run over my lunch hour - - my decision.  Working out with Robert and Kili has had a huge impact on my physical being as well.  I am stronger over all, my endurance has increased dramatically, and I feel like I have greater stability in my gait.  Working out has also increased my flexibility, which comes into play constantly in my day-to-day experiences.  My outlook on food has drastically changed—now I am aware of what I am choosing, rather than eating what sounds or looks good.  I am conscious of the types of food I am putting into my body, well aware when I stray from the desired path.  
 
The most important change is one of self-perception and self-belief.  When I began my relationship with Sweat360, I looked at “working out” as something I had to do; something that I had to put myself through in order to get the results I was seeking.  Now, after all is said and done, I see myself as an athlete, someone capable of achieving significant results with and through my body.  I consider myself to be an active, healthy, aware athlete who respects his body by making smart, consistent decisions.  I go for runs.  I can endure a hi-def work-out.  I can go.  And I love it.  If the past six weeks have given me anything, it is a new appreciation for myself, for my body, for my health.  I am on top of my game!

Word up, People!

-Daniel

I want to share my thoughts on this MC closing day

Robert asked us to reflect on what the Meltdown Challenge has meant to us and write it down and turn it in tonight. After writing it I felt compelled to share my thoughts with each of you that I have experienced it with.

What This Meltdown Challenge Has Meant To Me:

Since Daniel and I started working out with Sweat 360 at the beginning of the year, I felt like doing the challenge would just be a continuation of those workouts. In some ways, it was. In many other ways it wasn't. One of the things that I value the most out of the MC, is and will be the relationships that I gained with the group. This was unexpected for me. I just thought that we would come together as a group and leave when the workout was over. I never expected the camaraderie and support that I have felt during the MC. I truly look forward to hearing the successes and challenges that each of us go through. I have, at times, not even felt like working out, yet I was encouraged to keep going, keep moving, and keep breathing. I too have enjoyed sharing what I am experiencing and have been able to help others in the group to keep going.

In doing the MC, I feel that I have personally challenged myself to new limits. On many days throughout the MC, I challenged myself to do two workouts. This often felt torturous, yet I lived. Someone in the group one day said “I can do anything for six weeks,” and I believe that and if I can do it for 6 weeks then why can’t I do it for six months or six years? In one of the first episodes of Biggest Loser this season Ashley asked her mother ‘what will happen if I go in there (the gym) and can’t do it?’ Sherry, her mother, responded ‘what will happen if you CAN do it?’ As those of us know that watched the show, she came in 2nd place. Often in life one fails to experiences all that the world has to offer because of fear of failure. I feel that going through this MC has given me a new found zeal for everything that the world has to offer. I am a healthier person, I am a stronger person, and I love myself more than I can ever remember.

If there is one thing that I wish beyond all that I have stated, it is this: that those who went through this with me see the change that is possible in their lives and continue in this course, never forgetting that they have it within themselves to make that change to be healthier, stronger and to be able to do whatever their heart’s desire in this wonderful world.

Terrance

P.S. I want to thank each and every one of you including Kili and Robert for all the love and support that I have felt during the MC. I commit to continuing in this course and challenge each of you to do the same. All my love, Terrance

My Last Blog Entry????

It can't be, it can't be our last day. I'm gonna keep blogging or texting or facebooking or something! We all know that Meltdown is almost officially over but such a jump start for all of us! Can't wait til we see what the next chapter brings! Its like all those kids that are graduating around us. They've been taught, mentored and given the tools to get out there to make it on their own. We are also graduating in a way. In six weeks of Meltdown we've been taught, mentored and given the tools to succeed! Let's make our selves and our trainers proud. :) hey where's my cap and gown?? :)
Lori

It's not much, but it's a very big deal to me!

Yesterday I did something "living in the future." Daniel are planning to go to Mexico next January, and Old Navy had swimsuits on sale. I have for as long as I can remember had to buy XXL or even XXXL in swimsuits. I tried on the XXL and it was too big! I ended up buying an XL that was snug knowing that it will fit me nicely by January if not much sooner. There have been many times that I bought clothes smaller that I was when I purchases them, always hoping that somehow, miraculously, they would soon fit. This time it was very different. I KNOW that it will fit soon! That is the difference, for the first time in my life, I feel that I am in control, and that is a great feeling! No longer am I waiting for a miracle to happen, I am in charge of making my own miracles happen...and that's a big deal to me!

Terrance

All I Can Do

Well, I've done all I can do before tonight's weigh in. Funny that our final workout comes the day after the Biggest Loser finale! Those contestants look AMAZING...and I have to say that all of us look AMAZING as well. It's been a challenging road, mentally & physically. I have conquered my sweet tooth that I had at the beginning of the challenge and I can stare it in the face and say "no" without hesitation. I have proved to myself that I can do it if I put my mind to it. I really enjoy working out now and have found that doing a variety of exercises and workouts really help to keep me energized and coming back for more. I do have to admit that I will miss the feeling of walking in on a Wednesday night or Saturday morning not knowing what in the hell is in store for me. But ALWAYS walking away afterward feeling great!

See you all tonight!

-Jen

It's The Final Countdown*

We're leaving together
but it's still farewell
And maybe we'll come back
to earth, who can tell.*

Just thought those lyrics were appropriate for how I'm feeling tonight! Tomorrow will be bitter sweet since it's our last workout together. I am excited to be able to share this all with our friends and family tomorrow for our final workout.

I think I've done all I can do before the end of this meltdown journey, but this is just the beginning for me and I am so thankful to have been a part of this. I really needed to kick in the ass to get me moving, and Kili & Robert have been that kick in the ass for me.

All I can say is, THANK YOU!

See you all tomorrow!

- Jen

*Europe

Time is a tickin!

Ok, on my way to my last workout before weigh-in! Unless I can sneak one in tomorrow morning...maybe!! I know Jen is doubling up on workouts so she's keeping me hopping! My gut tells me the boys are too! Anyone else? I'm looking forward to the weigh in to see the results but not looking forward to this great Meltdown program ending. And will be missing my Meltdown friends. Ok, we've gotta figure out a way to keep connected Meltdowners! Just gotta!!
See you all Wed night!!
Lori

TRX today!

That's right! I purposely signed up and showed up for a TRX class. I decided to quit fighting it and get in there to learn it! It was a tough workout, felt awkward at times but overall I felt stronger and felt better about what I could do rather than what I couldn't do! It was such a warm feeling to step into class with fellow Meltdowners! Loved that. The gal next to me was super nice with just the few words we could squeeze out between moves. :) It was a wonderful way to start the day. I can tell I'm gonna feel it tomorrow!
Lori

This is a first...

I can actually say that I have rubbed my knees raw! Thanks to Kili and TRX this afternoon and Kickboxing tonight, my knees are seriously raw. My husband laughed at me when I said that my knees were sore and that I was going to have scabs....he's a dirty guy!

Both workouts today were awesome! The energy in kickboxing tonight was awesome. It's so fun to do a really hard workout and feel the positive energy in the room. Kili was on a mission tonight!

Looking forward to Wednesday!

-jen

Paleo Diet- Reflections

Wow I can't eat all the food! This is soooo much food! LOL.... I have never complained about having to eat too much, so I won't start now. I know that I will get better a putting combination that will be easy for me to prepare and consume.

I have had a good start to my exercise this week. I am trying to increase my cardio; I get out of breath so easy. I have sinus problems, but have had an operation about 3years ago and had helped a lot. Greg says I don't snore anymore unless I have a sinus infection. I have never had a chance to see how it affects my cardio because I didn't exercise. Well, since meltdown I found out that I am not really breathing from my right side. This is something that I am really concentrating on, with every cardio step I do I really am focusing on breathing.

Robert and Kili I can't thank you enough for helping to change not only my life but my husbands life as well. This has brought us closer as a couple and given us one more thing to share with each other. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU....

Meltdown has just been the beginning for me, not the end (even though meltdown is ending). I think for the 1st Sweat360 Meltdown 2010, our trainers have done a fantastic job. I know that they have learned how to help the next Meltdown class better. Though I don't know how it could be any better!

Watching everyone improve in so many ways has been a blessing to me to be a part of Meltdown with you!
Jen - watching the mommy and wife have a drive to not just loose the baby weight but to be a more active mommy and to see you wanting to improve your relationship with your husband even if it is the M_ _ F dream! LOL!

Terrance and Daniel it has been so much fun to spend time with you two. Terrance your are such an inspiration at how much you have changed your life. Daniel you have help pushed my limit, a little run after class but before stretching; you are so strong, fun and funny. You guys have great hearts!

Jamie Girl! I wish that I would have been as smart as you at your age. You will go far; part of the reason is that you don't want to be that girl with a weight problem and you are doing something about it. Work, School, Exercise and family, that is a lot and you are doing it. Props to you baby girl!

Lori your such a good mom! I have great drive and when I workout next to you I can feel your strength and energy. You energize me! I am so proud of you making great food choices in a place that is HELL for someone trying to eat right! Your Awesome..

Alicia it has been so fun to get to know you and I look forward to having more fun together. Do dance videos so we don't look as dorky as last friday. LOL. I look forward to doing Amber's senior pictures and sending time with you and her. You are such a hard worker and good mom. Being a single mom is soooo difficult, I know, been there done that. Your so funny and have such a good heart.

Kristy - your so quiet it has been hard for me to get to know you, but I look forward to it. I know that our paths will be crossing at the Sweatbox and hopefully will have a chance to have more fun together working out and changing our lives.

Kimmie - your so fun! I am glad that we had the chance to meet and can't wait to have you do my hair. You are inspiring and work so hard when you come to class. I look forward to a long hair relationship and workout relationship with you. You can do it. You can change to be more of what you want to be. I ask myself now, why have I waited so long? Don't be like me! Your young and beautiful with alot to offer anyone you come in contact with!!

Pretesia - You are fantastic!! High energy fun! Your such a lovely person; I enjoyed your company the 1st time we met at Dawn's house. Your family is so lucky to have you! Your go drive is CRAZY! With all your energy your simply amazing! I hope that we can continue to workout together and have fun at Dawn's house!

Well.... I should say goodnight and see some of you tomorrow and the rest of you on Wednesday.

Tracy

Thank you my friends

I shocked that we have less than a week left. I am missing it already. I wish there was a part 2. I am not sure what that would look like but I know how it would feel. I feel so safe in our group. I feel that we have a great support group as well as the challenge. I will see you all on Wednesday if not sooner.

Tracy

Hi Meltdown Class, This is just an update since I missed class on Saturday. I chaperoned a prom on Friday night and danced like I was sixteen again. On Saturday morning, I went to a Greek organizational walk for Haiti. Yes, I got wet in the rain for the cause. Later Saturday, Ambra went to another prom. So we preped all day for that. I am fit to be tired. I missed you all and will see you on Saturday. On Wednesday, Ambra will have a graduation from a nonprofit organization leadership program that she has been in for 3 years. When is graduation? This child is running me more than Robert and Kili. Good Luck everybody with this weeks workout and positive food choices.

Satisfying Day

Today was a satisfying day. I worked out, hard, with my friend Karie this morning. I brought my daughter so our kids could play while we worked out. Turns out, they enjoyed doing a lot of the stuff we were doing (VERY modified of course). I even tasked my 3 year old to stand on my feet as I was doing sit ups. Worked wonderfully and she was having a great time.

I did learn something today though. I really enjoyed having my daughter there, seeing me exercising and setting a good example. I also loved having her want to do what I was doing. I think I am going to start some simple workouts that her and I can do together. Maybe just start with sit ups and push ups. Watching her do push ups was so funny but she never gave up, just kept on going.

It finally hit me today that I am setting a good example for my family. They see my dedication to fitness and healthy eating and I know they are reaping the benefits of it all! I'm a much better person, mentally & physically. We are all great examples to our families and friends. We have a lot to be proud of!

-Jen

Snack Bar Menu

I'm at a tournament for 13 and 14 year old girls. The "specials" on the snack bar menu board: "Wings and Rings" meaning of course chicken wings and onion rings. The other special: Deep Fried Twinkies! This is not a joke! This ball park does not allow you to bring in your own food. But I've got my cooler in the car with zone meals/snacks packed. I eat in the parking lot:) The "old" might have tried one of those specials! Not now!
Lori

Living now for the future

I think that for years I was living in the 'now.' Let me explain; I was constantly looking at myself and where I was. I was fat, I was drinking every day, I would eat whatever I wanted, I was basically living for each never thinking about a tomorrow.

That was then, this is now!
Since starting to work out this year there have been major changes. I am changing my body, and I'm becoming a healthier person. I don't drink every day, I am conscience of what I eat, and I do think about tomorrow. I think about what I do every day now and how it will make me better for tomorrow, 10 years from now and 40 years from now. This has not only benefited my body and the changes with it, I feel that it has benefited everything in my life including my work and my relationship. I look forward to all that the future holds and I know that what I do today will make that all possible.

I am happy to say that I am living in the 'future!'

Terrance

Not so sore!

A great day today! Woke up expecting to roll out of bed with my usual soreness in unexpected places. Its like a game every morning...wonder what's gonna hurt today...oh....I used THOSE muscles?? Today, I woke up not nearly as sore and I worked my butt off yesterday. Well, as I saw it we ALL did! Awesome workout for everyone. So now I'm thinking I need to workout five times today to guarantee soreneess tomorrow!! Lol!

Instead, I'll be sitting at softball games. Three of them today! I have another mom on the team that always offers to walk with me between games, but she's gone today. I'll have to get my behind out there on my own. No problem!!

Happy Sunday everyone!
Hey thanks Daniel and Terrance for the spreadsheet you developed and sent out! Love it!
Lori

Being Present

During yesterday's work-out, a part of me left. It went off, far away from where my body was, and it wanted nothing to do with my current activities, whether sit-ups, ball slams, or the formation of the moment. And when I say "part of me," I mean "a big part of me," for I did not want to be where I was. I did not want to be working out, even though I was aware that what I was doing was for the good of me. Despite all rationale to the contrary, I wanted to be done with it, I wanted to have the pain behind me, I wanted to be absolved of the next set of exertion.

In my departure, that escapist me played with ideas of buying real estate, having children, going to graduate school, being in bed, and playing with the dog at the park, all of which were wonderful, brilliant ideas, and all promised reward on some level. I could see clearly my intensity in advancing myself intellectually and professionally; it was possible to envision a future with two, maybe three, or maybe four, demanding but still wonderful children; would we buy a piece of land or just buy a house? So much to think about! So much to do! And all of it is so wonderful!

And then Kili enters my space. "Lift your arms up higher! Like you are doing an upper cut!" This instruction has nothing to do with where I am. I want her gone. She needs to focus on other people whose form is far worse than mine, I figure arrogantly and dismissively under the surface. I want to punch her for interrupting my vacation from the work-out. We were almost through the session, and she had to ruin my party.

But I have ruined my own party, I realize. All of this - - all of the other parts of my life to which I escaped - - could have and should have waited for me outside the gym. I should not have run to them to entertain me and distract me from my work-out. As the session was wrapping up, I felt like I had cheated myself by focusing so distantly away from my time with the group and with Kili. This is my time, after all, and it's the time I have available to me to improve my health, change my body, and define myself as an athlete. An athlete who is mentally and physically present to the world and work-out before him.
-Daniel

Whats for dinner

Well today was my 1st day of starting the Paleo way of eating. I had a mid-week Jenny Craig appointment with Kalina my consultant and friend. Her and I have been working on my food choices to reduce my weight. For some reason when I started working out I quit loosing weight. This has been a frustrating part of our workouts. She measured me and my measurements where smaller that a year and a half ago; the really interesting thing is that when I was at 164ib which was my half way point, my measurements were almost the same and I weight 20lb more that I did then. With the support of Kalina I have decided to go on the Paleo and see if I can drop any weight.
I have been really emotional since last night and dealing with alot of who I used to be, who I am now and who I want to be. When I came in this morning to the meltdown, I had a meltdown of my own and it had nothing to do with working out. After my meltdown I went in and spoke to Robert about wanting to start eating right.
He gave me some ideas emailed some guidelines (thanks Robert). I went to home depot and got some plant and then to safeway for some food.
This is what I came up with for dinner. It was yummy! Though I am jonesing for a snack. (no more triple choc. cheesecake)!
I am attaching a couple of pictures- one to show what I did today after meltdown
and the other that shows what I had for dinner. This is a 3 block dinner - lean pork kabobs, 12 asparagas spears and 5 olives for my fat! It tasted great!!!!!!!!

Long hard day working in the yard.

I'm going to turn in,
Tracy

The Girlz and 80-90's Dance - I feel so old!

LOL. Wow....20 + years ago I live to dance. I have to say back then I could really dance. Sometimes dancing 8-10 hours a day or night. Tonight I felt like I was someone else; some old lady that didn't even have a beat. Kinda Sad! Alicia and I have vowed to get a couple of dance DVD's and shake off the cobb webs. What a reality check, I don't see myself any different until tonight. It is a humbling experience.
Alicia and I thought about leaving several times but instead decided that we would be there for support and to cheer the others on. It would have been more of a defeat instead of motivation if we left. Anxiety was through the roof; a bit of torcher.
I really need to work on my cordination and movement in everything I do, I want to get better at kickboxing and not alway kicking left when everyone else is kicking right.

I well be glad to see everyone tomorrow; I hope that Jamie will be there.

I've had better days,
Tracy

Rockin These Beats

Well, me not so much, but the 80's hip hop class was a TON of fun! It does make me look at myself in the mirror and I realize that right now, I may look totally out of place, but one of these days I'll find my rhythm and style, or I might just have to fess up to the fact that structured dancing just isn't for me. But, until I believe that, I'll drag my loofy self onto the floor and give it a whirl. If anything, it sure is fun and something completely out of the norm of a structured SWEAT class. Next time I'm dressing the part. That might help me a bit!

Tomorrow I am afraid to crawl out of bed. Lori and I did a BodyPump class at the gym at lunch, then bouncing around tonight at dance...I'm going to be a hurting unit tomorrow.

Hoping the rain lets up sometime this weekend so we can at least enjoy a part of it :)

See you all tomorrow. I'm hitting the hay!

-Jen

Someone noticed!

I was surprised today that someone that didn't know I was in this challenged noticed I'm losing weight. I thought it would take many more pounds for that to happen. Woohoo! I definitely noticed it more than ever when I looked at our group Wed night! We are all trimmin' down! And lookin' hot!
Seeya in the morning all!
Lori

Posted My Results on Facebook! Yikes!

Last night I decided to "put myself out there" and post my Meltdown results thus far on FB! I could feel beads of sweatform as I started. So far only my family and a few friends knew how serious I was about it. Putting it out for everyone that Lori, once again, was trying to lose weight was going to be either brave or a not so smart move. Turns out it was a smart move! I'm amazed at the amount of support. Not only that, I know if you have a goal in mind you need to share it with those that are supportive friends. In. My circle of amazing work friends we call those your "balcony" people. They raise you up, support your goals, cheer you on! As opposed to basement people....you know the ones...you say what your gonna do or a goal you'd like to achieve and they tell you how hard it will be, how many others have tried and failed, etc. They drag you down to the basement instead of raising you up like a good friend should! I wish for all of you to be surrounded by many "balcony" people and separate yourself from those basement folki. If you know you have great Balcony friends in your life, share with them. It allows them to cheer you on, it puts a bit more pressure on you to succeed and you'll be surrounded by good, positive talk. Some of us have a hard time separating ourselves from those basement folks, cuz damn if we aren't related to them and have contact with them often. More of a reason to reach out! Meltdown buddies you all are my balcony people!! Thanks and love ya!
Lori
Ps plz read thru those typos. I'm on my phone and its hard to go back and fix :) signing off. Have a great day!

Almost the weekend...

I am sooooo looking forward to tomorrow! First, it's the end of the work week, second, it's 80's hip hop and I can't wait to bring my roger rabbit and sprinkler to the dance floor and third, I can't wait to spend the weekend with my girls. I've been missing them lately with class on Wednesday night, teaching tonight and dance tomorrow. Saturday after meltdown I'll finally get to spend some good time with them.

If anyone is up for meeting before class on Saturday for a "run" let me know. I'd be up for getting a little jog in before we kick ass!

-jen

HiDef

Wow we had so many meltdown crew at HiDef tonight it was so great! I want to just say that I haven't felt this comfortible with a group of people in a long time. I feel safe and I don't have my walls up! That is pretty amazing for me. It is no secret that I have anxiety issues; Yes it's true I have issues. LOL...... I felt so relaxed tonight even around the other 360 members. I have been having a really great week and haven't felt guarded. Thank you all for making it easy. Dealing with anxiety is not easy, it is a mix involving fear, control and sometimes panic within. Not a good mix. LOL. Look really scary now that I say it outloud. Well enough about that.
I am looking forward to dance tomorrow and having some fun! I hope that I will see more of my meltdown friends there.

See ya soon,
Tracy

Jamie Girl!

I'm so sorry to hear that you have been sick. I always look forward to seeing you and you are missed much! I hope to see you Saturday.

Tracy

Missed you, Jamie!

Hope you are feeling better and able to join us Saturday! We all missed you!
Lori

Pumped!

I agree, after a great,challenging workout and seeing the numbers and how everyone is improving in some area or another, I'm excited to keep-on-keeepin'-on!! Everyone worked so hard tonight and laughed hard too! Love this group and also agree we need to stay connected. I want to see everyones results beyond this bootcamp! Cuz we're all gonna be hot, hot, hot!! And I don't mean cuz its summer!
Have a great week kicking butt! Seeya Saturday!
Lori

Great hard workout

WOW!!!! I am with Jen. Turn it up and turn it on!! I was blown away tonight and want to say that I am so proud to be in this meltdown with the Fab group that we have. You all inspire me. I came home took so advil and iced my shins. I'm an old woman but it feels good to feel the life of everyone in the workouts, it give me energy. I want to say I will be sad and hope that we can still have meltdown group activities and get together. I am hoping that we will find some way to continue our friendships with each other. I look forward to every session with everyone. But just because I feel a mushy and a bit sad that our special team time is come quickly to an end; don't think that I'm not going to Kick BUTT all the rest of the time we have together. It's a CHALLENGE let's challenge each other and cheer each other on and show that world and our selves how fantastic we are!

Sending Love your way,
Tracy
forgive my spelling errors. LOL

Hello Motivation. . .

Here I come! I am totally 100% renewed after today and looking forward to kicking ass and taking names!

I can't believe how far we have ALL come. Seeing those numbers under each of our names gives me great happiness and a warm fuzzy feeling. Well, the warm fuzzy feeling came from Yoga, but I still think its awesome that everyone is seeing results.

With only a few weeks to go, I have got to step it up a notch. I'm ready to give a 110% on top of what I already give.

My personal goal by the end of July is to be in a size 8. I haven't been in this size since high school. I'm going to aim for that size and see where I end up. Hopefully I exceed my expectations. I have so much more work to do.

I'm with Jamie when she said it was going to be hard to leave this challenge and the people. I have come to really enjoy the types of classes, the hard workouts, the positive energy we get from the group and really the friends that I've made.

Ok, off to bed so I can make it through my long day tomorrow....but don't worry, I'll be hitting the gym at lunch :)

-Jen

Soreness and Sweet Cravings this week!

Did you know Kick Boxing and Yoga are equally qualified to leave you with soreness all over?? And I do mean all over!
Ok with that out of my system, here's the real issue...cuz I know soreness is a good sign :) my question is for all of you...when making out your menus this week, any good ideas for something that feels like its kind of a dessert but its a ggood dessert? I've been eating cottage cheese with sweet strawberries. Feels like icecream in a freaky Sweat360 kind of way. Heehee :) Any ideas out there before I grab m-n-ms?? Kidding of course!
--Lori

When it rains it pours

Just when you think life is finally starting to settle down and be normal, you get thrown a curve ball or many!

Just found out last night that my brother-in-law and my neice will be moving up from Phoenix. They will be staying with us until he can find a job and figure some stuff out. We have wanted them to come up for years but not really under these circumstances. His wife is having an affair and has been for past 14 years and he just found out about it this past week. So he is packing up the kid and heading to the NW. It will be nice to have them here, but we need to really just offer support to them and try not to get involved. Now I have to figure out where I'm putting a pre-teen and my brother-in-law in the house :)

So this is added stress this week.

My mom called this morning saying that my grandma was back in the hospital for vertigo and a blocked artery in her neck. She had back surgery about a month ago and my mom was down in S. Cali for 2 weeks helping her out. So, I helped her book a flight today to Burbank so she can be with my grandma....quick update: she is out of the hospital but has an inner ear infection and we were told that she is having lots of little strokes. So my mom has a one way ticket and will probably be down there until Memorial Day weekend.

So this is added stress this week.

It's only Tuesday so I'm hoping that this is it for the week. I am really looking forward to a hard, sweaty workout tomorrow at SWEAT. I really need it, badly!

-Jen

Yoga is a Go-ga!

Did yoga tonight with Kili. Amazing, everyone, check this out! I really got so much out of that hour.

Now I am going to collapse.

-Daniel

Ugh...

So, I was really hoping that this week would go well.
It started out great, I have been running for the past two nights.
However, I am sick. Yet again.
I had my cat scan this morning for my sinuses. Nothing is wrong with my sinuses. Although there is another large problem.

When I was in kindergarten I had my adnoids and tonsils removed. I had no idea until this morning, but I guess adnoids can grow back.
Upod the removal of my adnoids and tonsils, because of my bleeding disorder, in kindergarten I almost bled to death in my parents' bathroom.
This is the other problem.

I have been scheduled for surgery in June 16th. This is scary for me because I really don't want to risk my life again. But getting really ill every two months and taking antibiotics all the time isn't an option either.
My family and I are going to further discuss the surgery, but I want it to happen. I am strong and I don't think anything will go wrong.

I am very frustrated that I'm sick yet again. My adnoids are very painful, infected, and swollen right now. It was kinda cool at the doctor's this morning, he put a scope in my nose so I could see my adnoids. They are pretty much blocking the passageway for my nose.

I hope that I can make it to our class on Wednesday and I'm feeling better.

-Jamie

OKAY.

Here I am.
I haven't been here in a while, and I have to admit a few things...

I am not emotionally okay right now. I don't know if it has to do with a prescription I'm taking right now, but it's making me extremely furstrated.
I hate feeling out of the loop with this great group we have in meltdown.
I do NOT like missing out on this blog because I don't have the time to sit down on my laptop.
Everything is seeping through to my emotions and I just feel like breaking down right now, like I'm a failure, but I can't put my finger on exactly why...

I seriously hate the fact that I can't come to sweat360 more than three times a week. I found myself very unhappy this past week because I wasn't able to make it on Wednesday. I know that with school, work, homework, working out, and looking for an apartment right now I am in a big transition of everything.

I haven't even had the time to journal! and I love journaling! grrr!

I'm sitting on my bed typing all of this and I feel like a freaking whale. I don't understand it. I know that I am changing my body and that I have made progress, but in this moment I feel very physically embarrassed. I hate admitting to that and making myself sound pathetic and vulnerable.
Bleh......

On the other side I know that I am expecting to omuch of myself too fast, in a sense. I'm just emotionally not doing my best these past couple weeks and it seems to be changing all the time.... like I said, it might have to do with my prescription, but either way, I can hardly stand it right now.

I need a really hard kick in the ass right now to get through these next couple weeks and I'm working really hard to change my mind frame to make it happen.


On a lighter note, Kim is cutting my hair for me on Friday and I'm really excited. Because I have redhair everyone likes to look at it but I don't feel so great about it right now. So at least I know getting that done will help me a little.
And I relaly don't want meltdown to end. No other group at sweat360 is as empowering and leveling to the truth and honesty as we are between each other.

So, in all, things have really been off -kilter for me lately. I want to apologize for not being myself, or as involved and friendly as I usually am. Things are rampid in my mind.

With ginger love,

Jamie

My "nice butt" jeans

FINALLY...after not being able to wear my nice butt, designer jeans, I can fit in to them again. I had not even been able to wear them prior to getting pregnant so this is a huge deal for me.

I have never in my life paid $100 for a pair of jeans, but after I lost all of the weight plus some from my first daughter, I splurged and bought a pair. I wore them for about a year then, for some reason, I couldn't fit into them anymore :(

Yesterday as I was getting ready for work, I thought "what the hell" and I tried them on. I was so excited that they fit that I woke my husband up and made him look at my butt!

Now, after this challenge is over, I am going to treat myself to another pair of "nice butt" jeans. I'm looking forward to losing more inches and weight after all of this is over!

-jen

Spontaneous Run Today

Today we went for a walk at Noble Woods Park, located off of Baseline and 229th. We have walked this park man times. The path winds through a gorgeous stretch of greenery, going up and down, across bridges and in and out of the natural shadows engendere by the sun piercing through from above. We were walking with the dog, soaking up the calm of the evening.

As we were walking, something happened, something that heretofore has never occurred in my life. No hyperbole: as we were walking, I heard a little voice inside me that said, "I want to go for a run!" This message came in the form of a sensation to go faster, a sensation I felt in my legs. My friends, I actually wanted to run! So once we completed our walk back to the paking lot, I asked Terrance
to watch Walker, that I wanted to go for a run, asking him if that would be ok. He looked at me, a little surprised, and then said, "Yeah, go for it."

And I did, and it felt amazing! I was moving, and nature - in all of its august shades of green - provided the most amazing track for me to run on. It was warm outside, and it was warm inside, too--from the high of my run and from acknowledging my body's desire to run.

I recommend this park to everyone, and we can all easily run around this park. Go check it out and give it a shot!

-Daniel

Trying to eat healthier!

I have been doing Jenny Craig for years off and on. I have a problem with eating fruits and veggies (I love them); the problem is, that I don't want to take the time. Laziness! I wish they had a fast food healthy drive through. I would like to drive up and get my fruits and veggies for the day and know that they are fresh and healthy.

I have started doing some small things that are big to me! My husband Greg alway get yoplait at costco for my snacks. Well, at our last meltdown Robert talked about the quality of food. He talked about the differnce in some of the things that we eat (like yogart); he mentioned that yoplait isn't a good quality of yogart (I never thought about it). The Boyz started talking about Greek yogart(?) and how good it was. So I thought I would find out what they were talking about.
I went to Safeway this morning to get my snacks (yogart, strawberries, salad, and string cheese) and thought it would be a great oppertunity to see what the buzz about the yogart was. I got some "Chobani" greek yogart and WOW. The smooth creamy texture was fantastic and it taste good! So the yogart passed the 1st test and now it is time to check the label and compare.
Yoplait Light Blueberry 6 oz.
(with aspartame & other sweetners and stuff - gluten free)
Calories 100 -- Sodium 85mg - Fat0 - carbs 19g - sugar 14g - protein 5g
This yoplait has artificail sweetners and 14g of sugar

"Chobani" greek yogart 6 oz.
(with aspartame & other sweetners and stuff - gluten free)
Calories 140 -- Sodium 80mg - Fat0 - carbs 20g - sugar 19g - protein 14g

So I found a new yogart! And I feel good about my choice. I am also try some different salts (sea salt and kosher salt).

Oh ya! I had a GREAT Workout with everyone on Wednesday!!

Tracy

Meltdown is working!

Lately I've been able to feel the difference of what just three weeks of Meltdown has done. My jeans are getting loose, my food choices are totally different and I've got more energy! Gotta love that! I'm also learning how to stop beating myself up when it comes to my size. I did that during our last Saturday's workout when we were all done. I walked around the parking lot all ticked off at myself because I used to be able to do all these exercises and 400meter runs. I used to be at the head of the pack, not the end. I ran the 800 meters in track for goodness sakes and now I gasped for air as I ran half that amount?? As I ranted to myself and cried, I finally snapped out of that self destructive nonsense. I know better than doing that! Daily, now, I am concentrating on the good things about this process and the future rather than what I used to be able to do in the past. That takes a lot of effort, but an amazing habit to learn.
Lori

Hi Fellow Meltdowners, I have to apologize for not making it to class today, but Ambra(my daughter) asked me to be with her through her prom day. I had a great time and came to tears at the thought of my baby growing up. She was so beautiful and I will share the pictures with you all later. I do have some great new about my melting process. I wore a pair of jeans on Friday that I have not worn in 1 1/2 years. I am so proud and happy.... I put them back on Saturday : ) Also, I went to a birthday gathering on Friday night and ate one one bite of cake. Last thing, but most important, I worked at home by myself tonight. I ran around the development once and 3 rounds of push-ups, squats, the step, and sit ups. I am willing to put in the time when I miss class. Can't wait to see you all Wednesday. I am making the right choices.
Happy Mother's Day to everyone.... we are hardworking moms

Week 3 down and 3 to go!

This is bitter sweet. We are half way. WOW! I'm am not looking forward to our Meltdown session ending, but I do look forward to seeing how great everyone will look in 3 more weeks. I really see such a great change in how everyone is looking and how strong we are becoming. I would love to continue to meet as a group on an on going basis. I don't really know what that would look like, but would like to see if anyone else is interested.

Today we had a strong workout that pushed us all. I was determined not to walk on the 400 meter rounds that we did; it was my personal challenge. Sometimes I feel slower than the rest of the crew but feel that as long as I complete the workout it is my own. My own satisfaction and my own workout. I can't compare myself to others, because that isn't why I took this challenge. I'm trying to stay in the focus of truth. I have alot of history of bad self image.

In this journey I am riding a rollercoaster of emotion. I am a woman of faith and know that my life journey is about more than just me. I know that I have been through things that will help other women. I have always had bad selfesteem and acted out to make up for how inadequate I have felt about my abilities and inabilities.
Working through the physical part of the meltdown has helped with the emotional part of things. I have chosen to deal with my anxiety instead of going back on some medication. I feel that it is the right choose. Week 2 was the highest anxiety that I have felt in ages and I made it through. I did try a new med and realized that I didn't need it. I would rather feel anxious then nauseated.

I feel really great about working out 5 days a week for the past 2 1/2 weeks. I have so much energy. I usaully have sleeping problems but have actually been able to take a couple of naps over the past 2 week; that is almost unheard of in my world.

I am very thankful to Robert and Kili and appriciate the way that they work together as partners and a married couple.

See ya on Wedneday if not sooner,
Tracy

Feelings Aside, What a Great Work-Out Today

I commend everyone for giving today's work-out their all! Each and every one of us pushed it! What a rush!

Keep working your bodies hard this week. We are in the home stretch, but commitments must remain steady!

-Daniel

i feel great

it was a nice day today and i put on my shorts and could feel the sides of my waist peace and love thanks sweat360!! Alicia

feeling sad

i was hungry and i was going to have fish for dinner someone was making it and i waited.... then there was a miss communication. and it was not made. i eate pizza instead i will work extra hard tomorrow :}Alicia

Feeling Sore, But Feeling Good!

Anyone else sore out there? I know its part of the process and have to remind myself that I'm getting stronger and stronger every day. Especially during kick boxing! Some day my kicks will be as high as the rest of the class and I'll be able to jump rope without tripping up every few jumps. I've already noticed little things like being more fleible during simple movements like looking over my shoulder when in the car, and being more energetic during the day. This week was tougher food wise, but I'm back on it again. Can't wait to see all our improvements after 6 weeks! Love reading your posts and I always look forward to seeing everyone at the workouts. That helps lower my anxiety about the butt-kicking we are about to receive!
Lori

Feelin Good

I feel so gooooood! I was sick due to a med I was taking and thank goodness I'm not taking anymore. I had a good workout at kickboxing last night and had a great workout at HD tonight. Tonights workout was very different; I always feel awkward doing new things. Haven't gotten the rhythm of some of the exercises that we already do. I will just keep trying even if the LOOK MODIFIED. LOL!

I'm having a little difficulty getting all of my daily food in. I have a weekly menu setup and it is harder than I thought to get all the right foods in on my work schedule. I tried to follow it to the letter today and I'm still falling behind. I just need more of a routine. The drinking of the water is going great!

I think it is time to turn things up on my workouts (Robert did that tonight) and get as much out of each of them as I can. I want to try and get the kickboxing motions down better and try to tighten up my core while doing the motions.

Had a good Jenny Craig appointment today!

As for what the rest of the night holds for me is icing my Shin Splints.

Feeling Kind of Ill

Wow, TRX this afternoon really put the kick in my butt. Kili was working us particularly hard today, for which I give Frau Karie Mawer credit--since she had to be outta there by 12:45, we were all on the "Get in those straps fast, y'all" mode, after which we were asked "Ready?" which was really more of a "Let's Go!"

But lest I digress: I am posting to share that I felt particularly ill after this class. This is not the first time this has happened, and I'm pretty sure there is a scientific explanation for this. But I was weak, dizzy, nauseated, and just all around ill in the head. I grabbed the car keys from Terrance so that I could go out to the car and sit down. After we got home, I had to lay down and - with a good 15 minutes passing - everything was back to normal.

I share this because perhaps there are others in our group who have had a similar sensation following a work out. Alas, in our glorious age of technology, hyperlinks, and all things driven by the pulse of electricity, I thought to share this rather elucidating article:

http://fitness.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_to_avoid_exerciseinduced_nausea

As this article demonstrates, there are many causes to feelings of nausea. Introspect as to what may be causing this for you, as it varies depending on a host of circumstances. That said, hydration and fueling your body are key to avoiding this.

- Daniel

Dear Food Weight Scale

You have been a friend and foe these last two weeks. You have shown me that more often than not, my eyes are bigger than my stomach. You have shown me the right portions and this has been a visual blessing. It's funny how you can just eyeball something and think its close, but when you put it on the scale you are so far off. We've been getting close, real close, at meal times. Sometime I think you lie to me when the small amount of food I give you really weighs 3 oz. Sometimes I wish you were dirty so I didn't have to use you.

I do need you food scale. I need you to keep me in check, to make sure I am eating only what I should be eating and not what I want to be eating. You have helped me stay on track these past two weeks and I am not ready to go on my own. I still need you there to carefully weigh my food and I will be sure to keep you washed and ready to go for the next weigh in!

Thank you scale and I look forward to keeping on track with you by my side, or at least on my counter!

-Jen

Time on the treadmill

These past couple weeks, I have been going to Bally's to work out when I am not going to a Sweat360 class (which are harder, but more enjoyable). I have been walking and jogging some on the treadmill and working up to longer times.

I decided to make a personal goal this week to run on the treadmill for 2 miles - straight through - by the end of this week. So yesterday I decide to start the week with running for at least 1 mile straight and to see what my time would be. I did a warm up, then starting running at 5.0 (incline of 1). I ran the first mile in 11 minutes. Even after the mile was up, I ran a little farther. In all I ran about 20 out of the first 30 minutes.

Then I decided to do something a little different - walking backwards on the treadmill. Kili had mentioned that we don't walk backwards very often, so it feels weird using those muscles (think TRX straps and the pike position). It was a weird sensation, but it worked. My gluts told me I was doing something different. I also did some side ways shuffle steps. It added variety and it helped with coordination. It may have looked weird, but so what....

I find the treadmill a necessary evil right now. I need the structure of going to the gym to help me plan my workouts. Eventually I will do some running or biking at home - but the gym is working for me right now.

I really enjoy our classes together and the camaraderie. Thanks for all your support. :-)

Kristi

Daniel, You Made a Good Point.

He asked me:
What have you defined as your goals with this program? What are the differences that you see? What are you expecting out of this?

Well....
My main goal with this program is t omake sure that when 6 weeks is up I can say that no matter what condition my body is in, I am comfortable. That comfort would come from knowing that I have total control over what my body looks like. It's up to me to make those changes and push myself in order for them to happen.
Another goal is to be able to wear a cute pair of shorts in public without wanting to die. :]
I always have dreaded the summer over embarrassment of what my body looks like. That needs to end. I am going to murder it. I am in the process of doing so.
A big part of being overweight that kills me is that I feel like a failure. I feel like a failure at everything. I always need to do my best. It's a never ending problem that I can't seem to control. It's called being a perfectionist. And it seriously sucks in current time. However the results of it thus far in my life have been fantastic.


The physical differences that I see are in my thighs, hips, and waist. And of course it feels amazing to know I did that in an amount of time that flew by. I'm also seeing myself in a new light: what is truly there. The truth about what I look like. For a very long time I lived in this fog where I didn't want to believe that I am overweight. I pictured myself as this gorgeous thing that people looked at and I had an attitude about it. I can only imagine how stupid I looked. Realizing this now, I am ashamed. I have more feelings of failure and I somewhat wish that I could go back in time and change how I saw myself. That way I would have started all of the bettter eating sooner and exercise. I only think of all of the bad things I've eaten that I could have undone and all the extra pounds that I would be without today.
But that also is a bunch of nonsense and I don't want to live in a daydream.

The largest change that I'm going through is in my soul and it has been very rough. It comes with growing older. Of course all of you already know this, but I do not, because I am the youngest in our group. I've never connected with music so deeply to help me stay rooted to my thoughts and have a feeling of direct connection to something other than myself.

The hugest biggest ginormous thing that has been bringing me down are these lists I keep coming up with of things I have to do. I thought that writing these stupid ridiculous lists would help me feel better and help me stay ontop of things. Yeah right. All its been doing is overwhelming me to the max. So I have been coaching myself saying, "Jamie, c'mon. You do these kinds of things all the time, you've got this. You don't have to write lists all the time and bogg yourself down, it'll just happen." My problem is that I hate waiting for things I already know will happen!! I need to work on having more patience. For example, I've been beating myself up all night that I didn't drink more water in the past two weeks so that I could have lost more inches faster. For some reason I have a problem letting time pass sweetly and slowly. And I believe that is is derived from the feeling of lonliness and entrapment.


So these are really the things I am working on. It's funny how so much of it is mental stress that's pulled along by this huge rope attatched to all of my emotions. Scary.

- Jamie.

2 week weigh in! Yay.......

I made it! 2 weeks, that is awesome! Everyone worked so hard today and I know that we all had a great result. No one was happier than me. I didn't sleep well last night think about the weigh-in.

I think that I GOT IT TODAY! I was a freakin mess last week; and even though I didn't see a huge weight loss I saw inches drop! Thank you for everyones help and prayers. I really like all the people that are in our group. It seems very intimate to share some of our biggest problems and fears as well as life secrets.

Thank you sooooo much Robert and Kili, you care so well for all of us. The employing food thing was great Kili; what a great analogy!

Thank you to Jamie for saying she will give me a copy of her notes; use old people who can't see with out their glass really need someone to have their back once in a while. LOL! Jamie you are such an awesome young woman and a head of the game of life. You are learning what it takes to make you successful right from the start.

Thank You all my Meltdown friends,
Tracy

Buh bye big belt

So, a quick posting...

We came home today post-work-out and had to change into other clothes for the event we were attending. After I had put on the belt I bought last year, I noticed that there was a substantial (a good 3") of excess belt, just kind of hanging on the end. It made me look kind of dorky, and I was not at all about to go out and public and raise the local dork factor. Then it occurred to me: I have smaller belts, and indeed ones that would match my brown shoes. Off I went, scrounging around in my top drawer and found the brown belt I used to wear...and it fit! I could actually get that belt around my waist! So, Robert, when you told me I lost 1.5 inches on my waist line, this is the tangible result of that change!! I was so happy, I trotted my sweet self out to Terrance and declared my victory! I tucked my shirt in - which is not something I have been doing lately - took a gander in the trusty mirror and said, "Brown chicken brown belt!"

Happy Days, y'all!

- Daniel

Alright, Alright....

It's time to get serious about what I eat.

What Kili and Robert showed us aboutr eating today opened my eyes. I do really need to drink more water. Food is only to fuel the fire to keep me going. And I do need to hire good employees.

I have a feeling this week will be easier for me now that I have a better understanding of what to eat. Truning to water is a really good option. Turning to my homework to keep my hands occupied is even better. Most of the time when I eat its only to keep my hands busy.

I need to keep up with the journal as well and find a few minutes to focus on writing down everything and to stay dedicated. Not only when I find the convenient time.

It was so awesome to hear what everyone has lost so far! We're all working so damn hard, we deserve it and owe it to ourselves to be good to our bodies. We need our bodies to last as long as they can and to carry us strongly through our lives. The only way to achieve this is to use them.

What's pushing me through this meltdown challenge is the differences I notice in myself daily. I can't wait to buy summer clothes! I can't remember ever having a summer where I felt comfortable being in the public because of clothing that's more revealing. There's nothing worse than being uncomfortable in your own skin.

Being almost halfway through the meltdown, now is the time to push ourselves and get those results we've all longed for. We can do it!

-Jamie

Meltdown tomorrow - Weigh in - Things to feel good about

I went to HiDef today and had a good workout. I am proud of myself that I have worked out 5 days a week for two weeks. I feel like I've gone for 0 to 100% in the last two weeks. I am glad to see everyone hanging in there and working their butts off. I think we are all winners. I do feel like this is a new lifestyle change for me. I look forward to workingout because it isn't something that I am doing by myself, I feel like I need a driving force and I'm not just talking about Robert and Kili; I am talking about YOU my friends and Robert and Kili. I felt good that I completed all of the stations in HD today and tried not to focus on me being the only one that used dumbells instead of the sandbag or the weight bar. I just tried to focus on just getting through the stations and rounds. We had a nice but small group today and I was even sent a facebook message (of encouragement) by the nice young gal that I partnered up with.
It is funny but I have a following (which makes me work harder) on facebook. I have been trying to post a little something everyday about the process and my journey. I always get such nice responces to my journaling. I have my husband and 2 great friends (Carl and Dawn W.) that have been going to sweat360 before I decided to join bootcamp. They always told me about how I would want to keep coming back if I started and they were right.
When my husband went with Carl a couple of times he decided that he wanted to do some personal training; he said that he was going to do their 2 week personal training. I knew that wouldn't be enough and let him know that I thought that he should do the 6 week course of training with Robert (I didn't know his name then). He couldn't believe that I wanted him to spend that much money. I told him he was worth it! And that it was an investment in our future. He would come home after every session with Robert beaten down, soaking wet and weining. I thought he was crazy and exaggerating. NOPE! It was all true! LOL!...... The beaten down part should be replace with "taken to the edge" instead.
Robert I am truly thankful for you and appriciate your training qualities both for Greg and myself.
Kili I am turly thankful for you and your high energy and helping to hold back my weining and negative self talk.
I appriciate everyones efforts in this class and hope that I can match that effort on a daily basis!
Good thoughts, Tracy

My Personal Triumph! RUNNING?!?

I have to say that running was something that I always saw others doing and enjoying, BUT, I knew that it wasn't for me. I did run as a child, always slower than my friends and I hated coming in last, so at some point as a child I quit running. Now I have been told that I must run...WHAT?!? I hate running or at least that is what I have been telling myself for close to 40 years. So when told I needed to run I thought I was going to HATE the people telling me to run. So after a couple of classes that I had to run in, I decided that I was going to make myself LOVE running. What, am I crazy, wanting to love something that I love hating? So this week I have gone to the gym and the first thing that I do is get on the treadmill to...RUN! My first day it took me 13:46 to run a mile. On Wednesday it took 13:00, and today I did it in 12:34! This is crazy! I am so high from this personal challenge. I can't wait to go faster and longer. I want to run! I know that I would never be where I'm at if I didn't have the support from others and the belief that I can do things that I never thought possible. I thank everyone in the group for supporting me, including Robert and Kili. THANKS!

Terrance

Self + Physical Activity = Panic

I wanted to share with the group about the above formula, which has haunted me since the 1st Grade. I remember playing in a children's soccer league - ASO - and was responsible for kicking the ball from the sideline. I went to kick it, but missed, sending my foot over and above the ball. The adults and children camped out along the field broke out in laughter, and I remember thinking to myself, "You idiot! Kick the ball! A retard could do this!" I kicked the ball on second try but quit soccer that year. When my parents asked me why, I told them I didn't want to do everything my brothers did. My father, a lawyer, accepted this reasoning as sound, and my mother only wanted me to "be happy."

When middle school rolled around, I knew that PE would be my worst hour of the day, and sure enough, I dreaded every time I had to head off to the gymnasium. Our coach - Coach Dees - was your typical middle-aged, gut-over-the-waist teacher who treated the whole of us like laundry he had to wash. A lamented task, but one that he could do yelling and blowing his whistle, rattling off comments over his mega-phone when it so pleased him. For three years, I interacted with Coach Dees, and as an awkward middle-schoolers do, I did my best to stay as far off of his radar as possible. But of course, like out in the wild, the pack soon identifies its weakest link, as Coach Dees did when our class went for its first "Run around this track here four times, and don't stop for nothing" runs.

Off I went, hoofing it as best as my burgeoning body could muster, my little dust storm of sorts forming behind me and the other kids taking up the proverbial rear. The first lap was arduous on a number of fronts, though namely I found I was cramping. My legs were in pain, and my throat was dry as a nunnery.

"Get running, Cannain," I heard him shout. His voice raised higher when saying my last name, which I tried to ignore. I nodded in acknowledgment of his command and tried again to propel myself in what seemed like a completely futile experiment in human pain. I ran and ran, the minutes going by slower and slower as I rounded the final lap. When I was finished, my splendid coach started to walk away but turned to me and said, "Everyone could see ya running like a girl." He laughed and walked away as my face turned crimsom, wanting only to run now -- far and fast away.

And in strange ways, as I have been working out, I have had these early memories surface. My early experiences with working out, the negativity I felt, and the often-external rejection I felt when engaged in physical activity. And thus, there is a sense of panic that I sometimes feel, as I near the gym or Sweat360's facilties, and I must fight to let go of that emotion. As I let go, I have been grabbing onto a new identity, one formed in strength, determination, and focus. I have begun to see myself as an athete, a hard-working one, who gives his utmost for his own benefit. And as I do this, I find my strength increasing, and with that growth, I imagine myself running by Coach Dees, running strong and fast.

- Daniel

Great Meltdown tonight

I feel so much better! My pulls are getting better; I can particiapte and not feel bad. I really like our group and think that everyone is has something to offer each other. I want to tell Kili and Robert that I know you have alot going on, but know that you give each one of us special attention. THANK YOU! You two are so high energy and it helps propel us to the next exercise, next class and next good decision that we will make about what we put in our mouth. LOL...... Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!! I'm looking forward to a day off tomorrow. I have some Sample Wedding Albums to design. I hope everyone has a great evening and fantastic day tomorrow.
Tracy

A Suggestion for Snacking

If you are crunched for time, try this little trick to avoid snacking: boil a good eight to ten eggs and keep them in your fridge for a quick snack. I have found that these are really helpful -- right before or after a work-out, or if I'm just having the munchies. Eggs are full of protein, low in carbs and calories, and just require a little salt and pepper, if you please.
-Daniel

I can do ANYTHING for six weeks!! :)

I am trying to post by using my phone because all computers at home have crashed! They are vital to my business but have figured out plan B and C and D.....this too shall pass :) I am excited to work out as a group tonight! The support and push from my Sweat360 buds has been great! I've been in more pain from sore muscles than I have in a looong time. Could that be because I haven't worked out in a loooong time. I know it will get better as I work through it and get in shape. Right?? When I started this class I knew it was going to be a challenge physically and mentally. It certainly has! The thing I keep repeating to myself from day one is "I can do ANYTHING for six weeks!" It has helped. Its not a fix all, but its helped me get through the tougher days. I'm guessing by the sixth week, the changes I'm making will then be a habit, not a struggle. Hope I'm not expecting too much. :) I'm glad I'll be seeing my Meltdown buddies tonight! --Lori

Working through the pain

I feel like I'm falling a part and I'm frustrated. I am working through things though. I want to thank everyone for their encouragement! I know I can't be the only one going through the pains of rebuilding a broken body. Can I use the I'm the oldest of the group as an excuse? LOL. Well after Robert about killed me with stretching my Hip Flexor at HiDef last night it fills better today (not 100%). Thank you Robert!!!!! I soaked the pains last night and just tried to relax, which is hard for me. I was disappointed with my Jenny Craig appointment; I was looking for a big loss! NOT!!!! My consultant wants to up my calories, which is scary for me because I want to loose not gain weight. Looking forward to tonight!
Tracy

Some Truths

I know that it has only been a week, and that I should probably cut myself some slack, but here are some truths about how I'm feeling that is effecting my current performance in life.

1.) I have yet to do work outs or exercise outside of SWEAT360.

2.) I feel like I am falling off track with my diet.

3.) The amount of stress I have right now is making me feel like I can't breathe.

4.) I hate my job very very much.

5.) I love writing and the journal that SWEAT has provided for us is a big crutch for me right now.

6.) I realize that I have developed a habit of trying to hurry through everything that I do and to just get it over with.


Time.
What time? Where did it go?


There's so many things that I have now in a 'to do' list that any time I rty to focus on one, my mind goes totally blank. Especially when I am here at home.
Last night I had the final of an essay due by midnight that is hefty on my final grade. I spent four hours at New Seasons last night getting it done. On top of that, I had worked from 5:30a.m. to 12pm.
The day before I worked eight hours in the morning as well, luckily not as early. However when I got home my parents asked me to do a list of chores leaving no time to do my homework.
On Saturday after our workout in the morning I went home and got ready to be at work at 3. Then something very upsetting happened. At around 4pm a good friend I (used to) work with who is the one of the sweetest and most loving friends that I have was arrested for distribution. Yes, this is of course a dumbass thing. Everyone at work knew he was doing it, it was very obvious. This is why a detective had been watching him for a couple months until he could catch him in action. My friend came into the store with a look on his face that is unfamilar to me. He rushed to me and gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek and said, "I'm going to jail for 5 years." What the hell was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to think? I did all that I could not to cry as he quickly told me what had happened and he rushed back outside. Of course you could think that a true friend wouldn't do something like this to the ones that they love, but he is a free spirited individual. It's just who he is. This has been very heavy on my heart. For me, being able to let this go and not let it bring me down is to mull it over until I have come to a conclusion of something like, it's for the better.

For now, the habit of hurrying through 'to do' lists that I create is going to have to slide. I know that it is important that things have good quality work, but realistically I don't currently have the time to put a lot of effort into one particular thing. Within the next two weeks, this will improve. I do not like the feeling of haste and I feel amazing when I know that I have done good quality work. But this is what I have for now. It's like settling for Sweet Tomatoes instead of Olive Garden. Even though I have never been to Olive Garden... ha ha.

I hate my job because I don't feel like I deserve the amount of money that I take home every week. I like hard labor. I enjoy pushing myself to the limits and proving to myself that I can do anything I want to. Sitting for two hours at a time waiting for customers isn't what I call 'earning your dollar'. What a derive from that when I am handed my pay check on Fridays is, "Here ya go. Thanks for looking like you do something when we all really know that you hardly do anything at all. Oh, and here's the tips that people gave you to congratulate you on getting up off your ass to serve them." The continuation of searching for a new job will be picked up again tomorrow morning. This is not morally okay with me anymore. It's insulting.

I am finding it hard to even breathe. I don't think that I have ever tried to balance taking on this many things at once that have so much significance to me, but I am doing the best that I can. I knew that when I signed up for meltdown it would be a tight fit into my schedule. I do feel guilty for not being able to completely grab the bull by the horns and that it puts me at a disadvantage, but hell will have to stop me from what I've started. I'm not going to give up.

In conclusion, wiritng all of this has let me take a deep breath. Now it's time to tackle the day.

Sweet Tooth

Why is it this week that I keep having some MAJOR sweet cravings??? Last week I was so good and didn't even think about sweets, but this week is different. I feel like everywhere I look there is a cookie, cake, cupcake, candy, you name it. It's only Tuesday and I am NOT giving in.

I found that after having my second child a few months ago, I gained a giant sweet tooth. I don't know if this was brought on by breastfeeding or what. But it is there and I fight with it about every day.

My daughters 3rd birthday is on Saturday and guess what we are having...cupcakes! I have to work extra hard this week in the slight chance I breakdown and have a part of one.

There are no sweets in my house. This is the first time in a long time there hasn't been any type of baked good just hanging around. Even my refridgerator is full of healthy eats!

It's been a crazy week so far and it's only Tuesday. Just feels like so much going on and I am a little overwhelmed with how I'm going to get everything done and workout. I am so looking forward to class tomorrow night so I can work through some of my frustrations, road blocks and hiccups! Week 2 is definitely more challenging on all levels, mental and physical!

-Jen

I'm feeling old

I'm feeling old and broken down. I have a pull in my lower abs on my left side that bother me when I do sit ups and now I have pull in my hip right side area that hurts when I jump, kick or squats. I was getting out of my husband's car tonight an had to lift my leg into and out of the car. I am feeling a bit frustrated and feel like these will slow down my progress. This is Fear
No matter what; I am still going to move forward. I refuse to let this stop me or slow me down. I am looking forward to shooting a wedding in Chicago the 4th of July weekend and feeling fit and firm in some new summer clothes!!! My second driving force is a wedding that I am doing in Eugene for a classmate, where I will be seeing people that I haven't seen in 30 years. I am going to feel good and confident and have a great time. This is the reason I'm not going to let fear win!
Above is the difference between a lie and the truth; we can drive away our fears with truth or believe the lies that keep us bound to our fears.

P.S. I was in kickboxing today and wittnessed a miracle. My friend Carl; kicking butt and taking names. A couple of years ago Carl was waiting for a liver transplant to save his life, now he is giving me courage to suck it up and drive forward. Thank you God for Carl!
Tracy

Week 1 Down: Reflections

Some reflections I've had over the past week-plus.

We have completed Week 1, and I have made the following observations:

1. The work-outs are definitely helping, and I feel strongly committed to doing my utmost when engaged in those hours of Sweat.

2. The nutrition is going to be my biggest challenge. I realize, I really enjoy food! I love eating! I derive pleasure from the act of eating, drinking, and consuming in general. Thus, I have much work to do to control my intake. I am responsible for what I eat.

3. My body is changing, growing, and improving, and that takes energy. I am at once tearing apart and rebuilding the equipment known as my body. This process requires me to be aware of it and to realize its impact on those around me.

4. I have never liked sports, doing them, competing in them, or having anything maringinally related to them. I have had major epiphanies working out, memories of childhood fresh and alive. I have realized that I actually have some healing to do in this area of my life.

5. I am super excited to be doing this program: it gives tremendous focus and consequential validation of how important my health is. So many years of my life, I have done major disservices to my health. Now is not such a time.

There is much to do, and I am excited to be part of this life-changing group. Cheers, Everyone, and happy Monday. Looking forward to Kick-Boxing tomorrow!

- Daniel

starting my life today

Getting my life on track, one day at a time. Felt like it started for the first time today. I still have much to do. Have been following my menu, did my sit-ups, and i look forward to 5:30a.m. see you there! -Alicia Walden

The day of Rest

I rested today. I also promised myself that I would stay active or at least get some form of activity in. So here is my activity for today a little lawnmowing (that little blue speck is me) never hurt anyone unless the did alot of pushups. LOL! I am looking forward to tomorrows kickboxing. Hope everyone had a successful weekend.

Tracy

Okay, I do have more in me than that...

I'm not sure where to start.
Right now in my life I have college on Teusdays and Thursdays from 8am to 5pm. Every other day I work to pay for my phone bill and save up for school. Add in meltdown and sprinkle on all the homework, I don't know how I'm doing this. all I know is that I'm survivng and pushing myself pretty far.

This morning I really pushed myself in the work out. I had somewhat of an epiphany last night through a dream. Every night I dream, whether it be good, bad, or neither. However last night's dream I'll never forget. So here it is.


4:35a.m.

Enlightening, encouraging, relieving, and honest, was the dream I have awoken from.

I was in a large group of girls, my age (which is weird for me. Like, REALLY weird). I could tell you that by the feelings of maturity I had in this dream I was about 22. We were all auditioning for a lead role in a movie. A dream that I have had in my mind for while, but have never dreampt. It was extremely lovely weather and we were all outside auditioning for this role in what was going to be a huge film (No details of the movie or title were given). As it neared my turn to show the director and crew what I can do, I had no nerves. All of us girls were wearing white shirts and jeans. Our hair was done nicely according to what would best flaunt our personalities. No brunettes, only red heads, blondes, and strawberry-blondes. Since it was late summer, my freckles on my nose had come out of hiding and my hair was down. Not down and straight like I always do, but down and curly. In fact, right before I auditioned I took a moment to curl some loose strands. Because of these factors, I was shocked as an observer of my dream. These are all things that I never do: wear white shirts in fear that I look like a blimp, wear my hair down curly because it looks ridiculous, feel comfortable in a large group of girls.
My name had been called and it was now my turn to strut my stuff. As I stood from where I sat in the lush green grass, the girl next to me nudged my arm. "Don't forget to blush, they eat that up." I nodded in response as though to say, "Sister, the don't know what's comin'."

This is all so great to me for multiple reasons. One, this is a dream where I am pursuing something I know will always be in the back of my mind. In the process of executing it, not only did I feel like nothing could stop me, but I and everyone else for that matter, knew that. It was an aura I had seldom created for when I am so determined. In order to pursue a dream of this proportion, I need full confidence in myself and to overcome my bashfulness as well as how self-conscious I can get. I need to be proud of who I am and to prove to others that if they want great efforts and productivity done by a great worker, I'm the one they want. In my dream I had already obtained and honed this skill. I was using it very wisely. It felt so powerful and amazing. So why is this all relevant?

I woke up with the feeling that it will be mine. Just within a matter of time.

This is only a fragment of everything that rushes through my mind every day. However, SWEAT360 is not. I have made it part of my life, just as I would buying groceries. One of the best decisions that I have ever made for myself.

-Jamie.

Today was a push

I had a BAD DAY yesterday. Today"s workout was a push. I signed up for more punishment and looking forward to it. I had a cry this morning a meltdown and I'm not a cryer but needed it! Thank you Kili and Robert for helping all of us. I do really appreciate you. (excuse my spelling). I an going to soak my sore muscles and bones! Have lunch and clear my head. Thank you Jamie for helping to push me!
Tracy

1 Week Down

I can't believe today marks 1 week into the challenge. I've been more active this week than I have in a VERY LONG time. I am actually looking forward to going to the gym, going to SWEAT classes and really enjoyed the Hip Hop Caberet last night. I guess I realized that I was doing the same thing at the gym and I was totally bored, therefore I just never went. It's good to see that we can incorporate a variety of activities into our week and still get a good workout! Looking forward to a hard workout this morning.

-Jen

A Hard Day!

Today I felt like I spun my wheel. I was busy and couldn't get anything done... I'm a controller and couldn't get anything under control today. I felt like..... Hell! I did eat right but felt like eating wrong. I'm not a cryer but felt like crying (I didn't). It is now 9:34 PM and I didn't get any exercise done today. So I am now going to get on the treadmill and then I'm going to do some squats and lunges as well as a little weights.
I am excited that I am going to see the meltdown group tomorrow and I am going to push, push, push myself hard. I am starting to finally not feel sore and now I miss it! I wanted to loose good this week so when I weigh in on Tuesday I feel like I'm on a roll.
See ya tomorrow!
Tracy Coggin

DEATH

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NOT OUR BREAKFAST.

Fantastic Start!

Today we kicked off our SWEAT360 Spring Meltdown Challenge. And what a start is was!

The SWEAT360 Spring Meltdown Challenge is a boot camp series designed to take de-conditioned participants through a 6 week journey of physical and mental progress. Through physical activity, nutrition, journal-ling and weekly tasks participants literally have the power to change their lives. As well as ours! We have the privilege of witnessing their journeys. Just in the introductions alone we saw strength, commitment, vulnerability and power! Thanks to all our new family members that joined today! Onwards and upwards!!
Kili and Robert